Thursday, December 27, 2007


That was for you.
Now you're happy?

"Handle with Care" (the butchered version)

The Alter Rebbe.....

talks about me....
Ya hoo!
Rosho V'tov loy -
I guess,
I mean I bet there is some good hidden deep down.

Wednesday, December 26, 2007

Tzaddik Gomur?

When Reb Chiya wished to ascend to the heichal of Rebi Shimon Bar Yochai, he heard a voice come out and say:

"Whichever of you, before coming here, have converted the darkness of the world to light (holiness), and have transformed the bitter taste of their animal soul and evil inclination to sweetness (holiness).... - only those may enter."

I think 'transformed' is the key word here; to gain the 'Tzaddik Gomur/V'tov loi' status.

Tuesday, December 25, 2007


T'is all about Sacrifices.
Yep, all about Sacrifices.
Makes you feel closer to Hashem.
Does it really?
Well, dumbell, it should.
The sacrifices also atone for our sins.
It is a Yid's way of asking for forgiveness from HaShem.

All different kinds.
A name for each there is.
Special occasions calls for special Sacrifices.
Animal Sacrifices or meal-offerings.
What would a human Sacrifice be called?

A human Sacrifice?
Yep, for t'is all about Sacrifices.
It's all about being close to Hashem...

Sacrifice: the surrender, giving up, of something desirable for the sake of something higher

Monday, December 24, 2007


When you are sad.....I will dry your tears.

When you are scared.....I will comfort your fears.

When you are worried.....I will give you hope.

When you are confused.....I will help you cope.

And when you are lost....And can't see the light, I shall be
your beacon.....Shining ever so bright.

This is my oath.....I pledge till the end.

Why you may ask?.....Because you're my friend.

Signed: G-D

Zo Modne...

JERUSALEM (Reuters) - An Israeli judge has ordered the country's prison authority to pay an inmate over $1,000 in compensation after he complained of having to share a cell with cockroaches.

Mordechai Yehudai filed a lawsuit complaining of poor hygiene, a lack of fresh air, broken windows and inmates who smoke in a handful of cells, a spokeswoman for the Israel Prisons Service said

"The Prisons Service mistreated the plaintiff in a number of ways, including ... broken windows, cockroaches as well as incarceration with smokers," judge Irit Cohen wrote in her verdict, according to newspaper Yedioth Ahronoth.

The spokeswoman said the inmate's cell would be cleaned up. Yehudai has been held in three different prisons and has had complaints about conditions in all of them.

"Prisoners have the right to sue us whenever they see fit and we comply with the court's rulings," she said.

Sunday, December 23, 2007

I am a..


A shoyte!

And noch whatta shoyte!

Chalav yisroel

The Alter Rebbe responded that the s.i.l. unwittingly consumed chalav akum, which is only an issur d'rabonon, yet it had such a strong effect on him that it caused him to doubt his faith.

Thursday, December 13, 2007


"Why does the house look so clean?"
"Because da cleaning lady ain't comin' anymore".

Well, I do a way better job than the cleaning lady anyway.
(I hope she doesn't read English).
I clean better, I tidy up better etc...
And I'm so much less expensive!
BUT - what a waste of my time and talents.
Don't you think?

Wednesday, December 12, 2007

Emunah - pshuta.

What is happening now -
is the best thing that could be happening.
If anything better could have happened -
it would have happened.

Monday, December 10, 2007

Da Teeth.

After all is said and done, mamosh done.

The Dentist will finally be able to afford a Yacht.
The Periodontist a cruise with his family.
The Endodontist, wouldn't put it past him if he bought half of Iran.
And me, little me besides all the pain and more pain, maybe a free mileage ticket (via the credit card).

Being drugged, gives me the feeling like I'm drugged or something.

Wednesday, December 5, 2007


You are an idiot if you hope.
You are crazy if you dream.
You are a fool if you believe.
You are a nutcase for trusting.

Tuesday, December 4, 2007

Since Hashem gave us a brain, why did He need to give us a Torah?

Yanki Tauber.

While reason is a very powerful tool, there is something in the human being that is even more powerful - desire, that creates an ulterior motive which causes one to reason in a particular direction.

When we want something badly, desperately enough, we grab our brain, twist its arm behind its back, and compel it to manufacture such gobilydoop that anyone looking at us from the distance of a generation or a culture away will exclaim, "What happened to that person? Did his brain leak out of his head?". Of course, our brain is right there inside our head. It's even working overtime. It's just that it's running in reverse. Instead of figuring out the truth, it's figuring out how to build a logical foundation for what we want should be the truth.

That is why Hashem gave us the Torah --- a set of truths.
To enable us to know when our brain is running backwards. If the end result of our reasoning and logicizing doesn't mesh with the divine truths in the Torah, then we are doing something wrong.